Shh! It's a Secret!


When I was a kid, I had an invisible posse. (They were like invisible friends, but way tougher; I had all my friends convinced that if anyone pissed me off, my invisible posse would come into their bedrooms at night and cut their throats.) I still talk to them sometimes. This is why, if you sneak up on me, you may hear me saying things like, “GODDAMMIT MOTHERFUCKER I GIVE THE ORDERS HERE. Do not sass back to me or you will SUFFER!” or “I think we should hit them at dawn. First one back with a scalp gets a Snickers bar.“

‹ back                                         «  ·  &  ·  »